- House: "Are you scared?"
- Kutner: "Cats’ brains are always in alpha mode. The few scientific tests that have seemed to confirm psychic phenomena, that’s where it takes place."
- House: "Please tell me you’re kidding so I won’t have to fire you."
- — Here Kitty
Here Kitty is a fifth season episode of House which first aired on March 16, 2009. Nursing-home worker Morgan fakes sick to get House's attention after the home's pet cat sleeps next to her. It seems that the cat only pays a visit to people if they are about to die – and does so with alarming accuracy. While House dismisses Morgan as a nut job, he is intrigued by her theory on the kiss-of-death cat, and sets out to disprove it. When Morgan falls seriously ill, he and the team are forced to get to the bottom of both mysteries. Meanwhile, Taub tires of having to live on a lower income and a chance meeting with an old friend seems to provide him with new opportunities.
House is playing with a toy race car on a homemade track in the clinic. Cuddy comes in with a patient and removes a piece of the track. The patient, a nurse, complains she is run down, but has no other symptoms. After asking for a full battery of tests, the nurse collapses with a seizure and House calls Cuddy in and tells her to send him the patient's file. House is aware the patient has urinated, but Cuddy points out the urine is green. House gets intrigued.
The patient is a 35 year old head of nursing at an old age home. The team starts a differential when Taub comes in late. House orders an environmental scan, but Taub notices the disease is not life threatening and wonders why they are wasting time with her.
Kutner and Taub go to do the environmental scan of the patient' office. Kutner thinks there is something wrong with Taub because he was arguing with House. However, Taub is pleased with himself – he's found a drug that makes a person's urine green. Taub goes back to House and says the patient is obviously faking. However, House thinks the patient's seizure was real and he thinks it is phenol poisoning. He orders Taub to search the patient's home too. After Taub leaves, House admits to Kutner that he’s just trying to get Taub out of the way to prove that the patient’s seizures aren’t being faked.
Taub runs into an old high school acquaintance in the hospital lobby. He's complained he's injured his leg. Instead of going to do the scan, he goes to treat his friend.
House goes to see the patient, who is asking about the results of her tests. House wants to induce another seizure and the patient agrees. House flashes lights and the patient seems to seize. However, he tests her and realizes the seizure was fake. House is not looking forward to telling Taub that he was right when the patient begs to be treated because a cat has predicted her death, but House no longer has any interest in the case.
Taub examines his friend. He has been feeling dizziness. They talk about the friend's profession – he's a CEO of a company that makes medical devices. Suddenly, the patient feels better – he only had a calcium deposit in his inner ear. The friend insists on buying him dinner, but Taub declines.
The patient brings the cat to House. The patient tells her that the cat only sleeps next to people who are about to die, and the cat slept next to her. She begs House to watch a video, but she suddenly starts wheezing. House thinks she is faking again, but Foreman comes along and takes out his stethoscope. He confirms she is having a bronchospasm, which can't be faked.
House and Cuddy watch a news report about the cat. Cuddy is surprised that House now wants the case. Cuddy wants proof the patient isn't faking, or she's going to discharge her.
House asks for a differential for the bronchospasm. He's brought the cat along. House still thinks it's probably a coincidence, but Foreman thinks the cat might be the cause of the deaths. When Taub sees House with a cigar, he finds the box and realizes the cigars were for him. House also has found out that Taub is suffering financially. House goes with Foreman’s theory that the dead patients got worms from the cat.
Kutner presses Taub about his mood and he finally admits that he doesn't want to tell his wife that they have to cut down on their lifestyle. The tests show the patient's lungs are fine.
House brings the cat into the coma patients' room. Kutner thinks that House thinks that there is something to the cat knowing who will die. Taub thinks that the patient only had a laryngospasm. Suddenly, they notice a patient with welts and Thirteen notes that the patient is allergic to cats. The cat goes to one of the beds and House makes a note. House orders a methacholine challenge.
Cuddy realizes House still has the cat – she finds a litter box. She then sees some of the oncology lab's genetically modified mice and she takes them back. Cuddy has also learned that the methacholine challenge test was negative and she orders the patient discharged.
House takes the patient outside and starts smoking a cigar. He asks her why she's worried about the cat. He has figured that she had a child and something bad happened to it. She admits she had a stepson and he choked to death despite receiving immediate first aid. The patient starts coughing and has a rash on her neck. She complains she can't breathe. She's having another bronchospasm. He calls another doctor over to confirm.
House thinks it might be Churg-Strauss syndrome. He orders Taub to empty the litter box. Foreman tells him to do it to please House, but Taub leaves instead. Kutner grabs his backpack and finds the cat in it. House orders steroids for the patient.
Taub goes to see his friend. He talks about his old life as a plastic surgeon. He admits he had an affair with his partner's daughter and that's why he's not doing it anymore. Taub asks his friend if he likes his job, and he admits he loves it. Taub gives him advice on his new medical instrument and the friend is pleased with Taub and mad at his staff.
The patient complains her urine is brown. She denies doing anything to cause it.
Thirteen thinks the patient may still be faking because brown urine doesn't make sense – there is no cause. Foreman thinks it might be something purple mixing with the green urine. This would be indicative of cancer. Kutner realizes that House is deliberately doing things that break superstitious taboos. He orders a pill camera. Taub apologizes for being late, but House realizes he was out late at a nightclub. He thinks Taub lacks courage.
House takes the patient to see the coma patient who the cat went to. That patient is still alive. The patient dismisses the negative information. House starts talking about a preacher who kept getting the date of Christ's return wrong, but whose flock still followed him. The patient still thinks something terrible is going to happen to her.
House reviews the tape of the pill camera swallowed by the patient, but it reveals nothing. House gets the cat to attack Kutner by shining the laser pointer at his leg. Thirteen notes the patient is not very sick. Kutner thinks it might be a melanoma. House agrees and orders a physical examination.
Kutner calls House in the middle of the night. They found spider veins on her back, but no melanoma. That is common with Cushing's syndrome, but House wonders why Kutner is calling him about a non-life threatening condition. Kutner tells him that the coma patient that the cat went to has now died after 18 months of being in stable condition.
The cat has escaped and the team starts looking for it. House now thinks that there is something about the cat. Kutner thinks that the cat could detect disease with its nose. All of a sudden, House starts to wheeze and he spits up blood on Kutner. However, he was faking to punish Kutner for leaving the door open and letting the cat escape. He orders the team to find the underlying cause of the Cushing's with exploratory surgery.
Taub asks his friend if he can come work for him, but the friend has no positions open for someone who doesn't have an MBA. He then asks if he can invest, but he can't afford the minimum. However, the friend agrees to let him invest a smaller amount.
House starts an autopsy on the dead coma patient. Chase has been looking for the cause of the patient's Cushing's, but they can't find it. She even had a cardiac arrest during the surgery. Chase asks if House is sure it is Cushing's. Wilson asks House why he's dealing with the dead coma patient rather than telling the patient what to do. He can't figure out why House is acting this way.
Chase gives the patient her options about treating the Cushing's – drugs for life or brain surgery to remove her pituitary gland. She wants to have the surgery. Chase understands her feelings, but thinks she's being superstitious. He agrees to perform the surgery.
The patient is taken to surgery.
Taub comes in early to quit. House won't accept his resignation because Taub says he doesn't have a new job and House thinks he will be back. Taub leaves the office. The cat finally comes back to the office and jumps on House's laptop. House starts petting her and realizes how warm the keyboard is. He looks at a picture of the cat with a patient in the nursing home and smiles.
Taub goes to his friend's office and finds out he was a fraud – the whole thing was a fake. He wasn't even an old high school friend.
House tells Wilson that the cat was trying to keep warm. The dead patients were either feverish or had a heating blanket on them. They realize the patient was feverish and does have cancer in the only place the pill camera couldn't reach – the appendix. House realizes that the patient is currently in surgery and calls them to call it off.
The patient thanks House, but he notes she was willing to cut out a piece of her brain because of a superstition. The patient wonders why the cat sat on his laptop at that moment. She has also found that the preacher he was talking about inspired the founders of the Seventh-day Adventist church.
House starts playing with his cars again and realizes the cat has peed on his chair and that Kutner is to blame. He tells Kutner to pay for the dry cleaning. When House leaves, Kutner implies to Thirteen that it wasn't a cat that peed on the chair. House sees Taub come back to the office.
Major Events Edit
- Taub receives a visit from an old friend who offers to let him in on a good investment. Taub announces his intent to leave the hospital but his friend is exposed as a fraud.
- House learns that Kutner happens to be very superstitious and starts breaking superstitious taboos.
- Kutner gets his revenge on House by saying that a cat peed on House’s chair. But he drops hints to Thirteen that he did it himself.
"I told you to get rid of Death Cat!"
- Cuddy to House
"Hurray! You're officially sick!"
- House to Patient after he successfully induced bronchospasms
"Come with me tiny Taub!"
- House to Taub
"I'd love to hear more of your theory, but I don't give a crap."
- House to Wilson
"If there is no greater purpose in the world, that's not a world that I want to live in."
- Patient to Chase after deciding to undergo a high risk surgery
"I was right, and more satisfying you were wrong."
- House to Wilson once he figure out the cat was attracted to body heat.
"You're an idiot."
- House to Patient after she still has faith in the cat
"Yeah... a cat..."
- Kutner to Thirteen after she wonders how he got a cat to pee on House's chair
Zebra Factor 3/10Edit
Cancer of the appendix is not terribly rare, but is rarer than most cancers of the large intestine.
End Credits Message Edit
Male Announcer: Terror's threat has never head closer to home. 24 is next.
Trivia and Cultural ReferencesEdit
- The song heard when House's toy car starts its route is "Stranglehold" by the American rock musician Ted Nugent . House mentions him later in the episode "We shoulda listened to Ted Nugent.", referring to another song by him called "Cat Scratch Fever" , which is also an actual disease called "Cat-scratch disease (CSD)"
- The track House builds at the beginning has a shark set at the end which the toy car must jump. This is undoubtedly referring to "jumping the shark", a phenomenon which occurs when a television series has begun an irreversible slide in quality. Critics had begun bandying this phrase about regarding this series in the fifth season, and this was undoubtedly a swipe by the writers at those who predicted the show's imminent demise.
- The term "jumping the shark" was made famous by the show Happy Days, which starred Ron Howard. Ron Howard went on to produce and narrate the American sitcom Arrested Development. Arrested Development featured a recurring character named Kitty who was played by Judy Greer, the same actress that played Morgan West.
- Halo is a videogame series.
- American Idol is a reality singing competition, based on the British show Pop Idol.
- The line “No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die” is from Goldfinger. However, it was always Blofeld who was seen holding a Persian Cat in the James Bond films.
- House sets up a number of superstitious acts throughout the show: a black cat crossing one's path, spilling salt (which can be 'countered' by throwing salt over one's shoulder), opening an umbrella indoors, and walking under a ladder.
- The Seventh Day Adventists are a Protestant religious denomination that grew from the Millerites House described as waiting for the return of Christ.
- Debbie was based on a real-life cat named Oscar who correctly predicted 25 deaths in a Rhode Island nursing home. 
- A reference to the food called "bear claws" may be a reference to a food often seen in the animated show "Archer" starring Judy Greer as Cheryl Tunt.
- House calling Debbie "Good-bye Kitty" is a reference to Hello Kitty.
- Near the end, there is a scene where House sits in his lounge chair and sets two toy cars on the ottoman. One is orange, the other is purple. The two cars switch sides a few times in the scene.
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